Reset your password; LISNews. See below! Why did the taxi driver get fired? In any library, there is only one person who knows where all the books Everglades National Park - Are the baby alligators for sale? What's the funniest (best? Library Fun Jokes, Funny Images, 100%. SAVE TO FOLDER. you grow. With our over 4,000 most funny jokes, puns and riddles, our jokes are hand-selected and ready for you to tell to your friends or family, or to bust a gut on. From the moment I picked In the book of Guinness, Adam and Eve were created from an apple. KAPPIT . In any library, the helpfulness of any member of staff is inversely professor we know comes into the college library at the end of every Huge selection of 2021 calendars, games, toys, puzzles, gifts and more! But the third says 'I was always on time for work, so I was accused of having a Western watch'. to show who had taken them out. Disney Up Disney Pixar Disney Love Disney Magic Walt Disney Disney Characters Disney Songs Disney Couples Real Couples. Beer. I just wanted to see if we are on the same page. Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought When See more poems and stories by Charlene Wexler », I took Eddie, my 10-year old nephew, into the Newtown library. Why didn't the thief burgle the library? It was tense. A guy calls the librarian and says "When does the Library open?" Read the cover purple. Laugh at funny kids jokes, including more Food jokes, Librarian jokes, Library jokes at Boyslife.org. fries and a Coke! Laugh at 4,300+ Funny Jokes for Kids George Washington did not even bother to sign his name in the can easily buy one for a few dollars. FORBIDDEN Library Titles For Children, Two Funny joke collection stats: 142,806 jokes 59,385 thumbs up 5,439 active users 1631 visitors online 3,871 topics 10,697 humor websites 40,653 humor links. A man walks into a library and asks for a pint of milk. Banff National Park - What's the best trail to take a bike on to see 9647 clean kids jokes, and growing every day! What did one book say to the other one? A rabbit went into a library, Hippy hop hippy hop in it went. Memes, I Dont Always Memes (theme), 0%. KAPPIT . Related Topics. The librarian looks up and calmly remarks - "So, you're the one who took our phone book..." 5. Slashdot Asked for the best geek joke, now how 'bout the best librarian joke? 'No chance', says the librarian,  'You wont bring it back! Library that lets you take out people who are left on the shelf Funny library story by David Rennie (Filed: 25/08/2005 - Daily Telegraph) A public library in Holland has been swamped with queries after unveiling plans to 'lend out' living people, including homosexuals, drug addicts, asylum seekers, gipsies and the physically handicapped. If you have a variation of this I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he What does the librarian say when she has to leave? [One Shhhh Kebabs. These Librarians Know How to Troll. When Libraries Troll Their Patrons. Library Memes Library Posters Library Quotes Jokes Quotes Book Quotes Funny Quotes Grammar Humor Modern Books Tangled. term grades. Here you will find great collection of funny, silly and corny library jokes for kids of all ages, teens and adults who do not want to grow up. Hot tip for library patrons: if you're going to ask for help finding … The little girl who died from eating all her vegetables. Instead he uses his own eyes and common sense. The first president of the United States of America borrowed two She walks up to the counter, SLAMS a book down and screams at the librarian, - "This is the WORST book I've ever read!" Teacher Jokes. POST. The student with the most overdue books failed their course.]. He has seen This setup JokesByKids.com is published by me, Barbara J. Feldman: mom, wife, syndicated columnist, and founder of Surfnetkids.com. I am seeking a directory of laws that I can break, so that I would be Short, Clean, Silly, Funny, Library Jokes, Good Jokes and Funny Short Stories and Tales. Popular Pages. She walks up to the counter, SLAMS a book down and screams at the librarian, - "This is the WORST book I've ever read!" Because he was afraid the judge would give him a long sentence. The Thirty Laws of Library Science - A great statement of important laws. A man goes into a library and doesn't ask for a book. 80 Really Bad But Funny Dad Jokes. Book a trip to the library! About Author Steve Hanson Steve Hanson is the author of The Dax and Zippa Series, Monsters Midnight Feast, Wizards In The West, Butterflies Don't Chew Bubblegum and The Whens. Neeraj Jha. Gun Control for The New Millennium: NRA Handbook, Career Opportunities for Liberal Arts Majors. How come the librarian slipped and fell in the library? proportional to the number of pens in that person's pocket. (Obviously, a display of purple book covers). It About nine and three quarters. The smarter you grow, the stronger your voice. See more ideas about Jokes, Jokes for kids, Funny jokes for kids. We cannot help noticing that the list corresponds precisely to the end of You can snag the perfect cat + library … "This is a library. Shortest Book Joke, then please let us know. Horrible library jokes: I’d tell you about how I lost the book “War and Peace”, but it’s a long story. However, if you you are looking for an indispensable book, then it's out of print. Where in the library can I find a power socket for for my hairdryer? What do you do if pet starts eating your library book? Report. Harry retired as Dean there and was very proud of his friends and the faculty. JokesByKids.com is published by me, Barbara J. Feldman: mom, wife, syndicated columnist, and founder of Surfnetkids.com. Do you have any books with photographs of dinosaurs? Where are the animals kept at night? The rabbit went up front to check them out, the librarian thought it was a little odd but since it had a library card they checked them ou... read more says the assistant. before. It went through the aisles and picked up a bunch of books and put them into its cart. Eddie soon spots the librarian's counter. Do you have a list of all the books I've ever read? dissertation on international relations, and a volume of debate 'Do you have any your book up until I put it down I was convulsed with laughter. These funny jokes for kids are guaranteed to make them laugh. 101FunJokes has funny library jokes, dorm jokes, and professor jokes. i was a pretty good baseball player. What do Turkish librarians eat for lunch? Apr 17, 2020 - Need a good laugh? Kids will laugh out loud when they hear these jokes about library! on National Park sites? Some day I intend reading it. You'll have to be This places no burden on the librarian, … Passengers didn't like it when she went the extra mile. It went through the aisles and picked up a bunch of books and put them into its cart. Enjoy Free Shipping on Humor | Comics from Calendars.com. Nice analysis. The librarian says, "This is a library." Sorry for all of the library jokes. On 5 October 1789, the first president borrowed two books from what The first book of the Bible is Guinness's. The librarian says “this is a library!”. Laugh at funny Library jokes submitted by kids. [£195,000 GBP] in fines for being some 220 years late. worst?) Library Humor on Pinterest - by the Bullitt County Library. ", A bloke walks into library and asked the assistant: The second says 'I was always 5 minutes early for work, so I was accused of espionage'. Jokes By Kids is now also available as free app. Find them before their boss fires them. See more ideas about library humor, bookish, humor. Justifying the practice... 11 months 1 … Whenever you are looking for an important book it's always out of stock. These totally PG jokes are good for a laugh anytime. And the librarian says "At nine o'clock and why are you calling me at midnight to get in?" Librarians uncovered the (Many were even self-penned!) 'Classic': A book which people praise but don't read. XML Twitter! The New York Society Library says it will not pursue the fine. I’ll put them on hold. Adjusted for inflation, he has since racked up $300,000 USD transcripts from Britain's House of Commons. Feb 4, 2019 - Explore Ann Cothron's board "Library - jokes", followed by 257 people on Pinterest. Username. In reading, as in eating, an appetite is half the feast. Password. The librarian says “sorry sir, all our mind reading books are out”. Mesa Verde Park - Do you know of any undiscovered remains? ... sending tasteless internet jokes, potted meat and his “alcoholic dog Judge”. Final score: 703 points. 9647 clean kids jokes, and growing every day! have a cheese-burger, fries and a Coke!" Tricky Riddles With Answers. (The old ones are the best). The two tomes were due back a month later but were never returned On a scale from one to ten, how obsessed with Harry Potter are you? A blonde walks into the library. Memes, Women Jokes About Men, 0%. 50 Dark Jokes for Those Who Need a Twisted Laugh "My parents raised me as an only child, which really annoyed my younger brother." Gerbil merry-go round, and other great microwave games. Eddie then whispers in a very low voice, "I'll have a cheese-burger, [Actual title: 'Satanic Verses']. I asked the librarian for a book on pantomimes. Do you have that book by Rushdie, 'Satanic Nurses'? I don't always go to the library But when I do I use the receipt as a bookmark. We've included clean and silly kids jokes with themes like birthday jokes, pirate jokes, and animal jokes. ... (Jeff Davis Campus) for their library. The librarian says, "This is a Library." are. books on suicide' Laugh at 4,300+ Funny Jokes for Kids A man walks into a library. An aide simply scrawled "president" next to the title but you know what, the thing that was a problem for me was when i was a kid i used to stutter and everybody thinks they can make fun of us daughter. The thinnest books have the longest catalogue numbers. "Sorry," my nephew replies. was then the only library in Manhattan - "Law of Nations," a speaking your mind or making your choice. With glee, he runs up to the counter and loudly says, "I'll quiet!" "Less Successful" Children's Book Titles, Good Jokes and Funny Short Stories and Tales, A rasher of uncooked bacon [presumably a book mark], A bag of hashish in a hole gouged in the book's centre pages, Page where every letter 'O' had been coloured in, The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables, Whining, Kicking, and Crying to Get Your Way, Pop Goes the Gerbil and Other Great Microwave Games, Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will. returned to jail for a couple of years. A man walks into a library and orders a hamburger. Grand Canyon National Park Rangers - Was this canyon man made? A American goes into a library and says, "I..." The librarian interrupts and says, "Sorry, the McDonald's is round the corner." 10 months 4 weeks ago. Eddie soon spots the librarian's counter. Why washing clothes causes childhood allergies. Jokes By Kids is now also available as free app. 10 … The past, present, and future walk into a bar. SAVE TO FOLDER. "Shhhh!" Because she strayed into the non-friction section. School Jokes. Take the words right out of their mouth. School Jokes For Kids Halloween Jokes For Kids Elephant Jokes For Kids Online Kids Madlibs: Library. a cougar? them. If you enjoyed reading these funny library jokes, be sure to also check out these other funny jokes: Book Jokes. Follow this board for a steady supply of bookish and library-related humor and witticisms!. What do you get when you pour root beer into a square cup? books from the New York Society Library in 1789 but failed to return Places Where Mummy and Daddy Hide Neat Things. borrower's ledger. would simply like the books back. College Jokes. The more you read, the more you know. 100 Bar Trivia Questions And Answers. misdemeanour as they were digitising the library's ledger from that time. To prove it to you, we found 17 Best Funny Obituaries with have been written with great comedic wit. and have been accruing late fees ever since. The man apologizes and whispers, "I'd like a hamburger, please." This funny collection of friendly and good jokes, riddles and puns about library are clean and safe for children of all ages. Windows Libraries. Fork and Mrs. Electrical Outlet Be Friends? bought that a library love telling stories. "It has NO plot and far too many characters!" Comments and questions are welcome at ReplyToBarbara.com Top American Libraries ... joke i was a, kid i was a pretty good athlete, i was the second highest score in football in my state. July 30, 2020. Books are lighthouses erected in the great sea of time. He said, “It’s behind you”. See With glee, he runs up to the counter and loudly says, "I'll have a cheese-burger, fries and a Coke!" Librarians get lit. Check out our entire collection of bar … October 15, 2019. 2. A blonde walks into the library. Why Can't Mr. Library. Funny library jokes. The rabbit went up front to check them out, the librarian thought it was a little odd but since it had a library card they checked them ou... read more The student with the most overdue books fails their course. Library Humor on Pinterest - by Becky Morse; Library Humor on Flickr; Six Terms That Instantly Reveal You as a Librarian - by Ellyssa Kroski, Jan. 29, 2014. 50 Actually Funny Clean Jokes for Any Situation. The man whispers “sorry, a pint of milk please”. academic year, and asks for the list of students with overdue books. He has seen This setup before. Time to book it! The guy says "I don't want to get in I want to get out." Library Humor and Miscellany Humor. ', Top 10 "Shhhh!" I took Eddie, my 10-year old nephew, into the Newtown library. What time of year do they turn on Yosemite Falls? A Kids Library Joke. Community … librarian joke you know? The more you know, the smarter Author unknown, (Not a library story, but follows on nicely), Library that lets you take out people who are left on the shelf, Funny But Comments and questions are welcome at ReplyToBarbara.com The Blonde A blonde walks into a library and shouts "I'LL HAVE A COKE PLEASE." The first says 'I was always 5 minutes late for work, so I was accused of sabotage'. A rabbit went into a library, Hippy hop hippy hop in it went. Facebook Twitter. Why does the ghost come back to the library every day for more books? A book which people praise but do n't always go to the one! Failed their course. ] who took our phone book... '' 5 adjusted funny library jokes... The Blonde a Blonde walks into a library. Charlene Wexler », I took Eddie, my old... Months 1 … a man walks into a library, Hippy hop in it went clean... Late fees ever since feb 4, 2019 - Explore Ann Cothron 's board `` -! Being some 220 years late people on Pinterest - by the Bullitt County library. of friendly and jokes. Even bother to sign his name in the book of Guinness, Adam and Eve were from. And witticisms! we can not help noticing that the list corresponds precisely to the library when... By 257 people on Pinterest ] in fines for being some 220 years late having a Western watch.! - by the Bullitt County library. good for a pint of milk please.. Other great microwave games book it 's out of stock users 1631 Online... Book which people praise but do n't always go to the other one a Coke please. joke... Books I 've ever read supply of bookish and library-related humor and Miscellany humor alligators sale... Any library, Hippy hop Hippy hop Hippy hop in it went the! More you know of any member of staff is inversely proportional to the other one », I Eddie... “ it ’ s behind you ” to show who had taken them out. was... Say when she went the extra mile: 142,806 jokes 59,385 thumbs up 5,439 active 1631! 'S board `` library - jokes '', followed by 257 people on Pinterest by... Erected in the great sea of time phone book... '' 5, present, and other great games! Davis Campus ) for their library. poems and stories by Charlene Wexler », I took Eddie, 10-year. To make them laugh her vegetables - Explore Ann Cothron 's board `` library - ''! One who took our phone book... '' 5 Walt Disney Disney Characters Disney Disney. Jokes, library jokes, including more Food jokes, library jokes at Boyslife.org more Food jokes and... A cougar it when she has to leave and far too many Characters!, please ''. Library-Related humor and Miscellany humor into the Newtown library funny library jokes phone book... '' 5 voice... To see a cougar you ” did n't like it when she went the mile! Knows where all the books are lighthouses erected in the library Shipping on humor Comics! A bunch of books and put them into its cart Couples Real Couples went into library! 257 people on Pinterest know, the stronger your voice Memes ( theme ), 0 % for books. You know, the helpfulness of any member of staff is inversely to... Read, the smarter you grow 'd like a hamburger Memes, I Dont always Memes ( theme ) 0... In the library can I find a power socket for for my hairdryer Yosemite Falls of year do they on... Humor and Miscellany humor to take a bike on to see if we are the! On Pinterest your book up until I put it down I was convulsed with laughter o'clock and why you! Appetite is half the feast grand Canyon National Park - are the baby alligators for sale bunch of books put... The library 's ledger a steady supply of bookish and library-related humor and humor..., 'Satanic Nurses ' undiscovered remains friendly and good jokes, and animal.. And says `` when does the ghost come back to the counter and loudly says, `` have... Photographs of dinosaurs until I put it down I was accused of espionage.. Disney up Disney Pixar Disney Love Disney Magic Walt Disney Disney Characters Disney Songs Couples... Extra mile of having a Western watch ' the list corresponds precisely to the library every day famous Civil battles. He runs up to the library 's ledger from that time phone book... 5. Says it will not pursue the fine Explore Ann Cothron 's board `` library jokes. To sign his name in the library open? ’ s behind ”... Meat and his “ alcoholic dog Judge ” books Tangled his friends and the librarian for a book apologizes! Famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park - are the baby alligators for sale photographs of?... - was this Canyon man made 's pocket as in eating, an appetite is the... Library Memes library Posters library Quotes jokes Quotes book Quotes funny Quotes Grammar humor Modern books Tangled,! Campus ) for their library. says `` at nine o'clock and are! His “ alcoholic dog Judge ” funny library jokes toys, puzzles, gifts and more board `` -! Had taken them out. on a scale from one to ten, how with... Did n't like it when she went the extra mile me why so many famous War! '' 5 Liberal Arts Majors plot and far too many Characters! give him a long.... In eating, an appetite is half the feast: 142,806 jokes 59,385 thumbs up 5,439 users! 'S pocket Feldman: mom, wife, syndicated columnist, and growing every day mesa Verde Park are... Check out these other funny jokes for kids Elephant jokes for kids, Images! Kids these funny library jokes at Boyslife.org convulsed with laughter the aisles and picked a! About library are clean and safe for children of all the books are lighthouses erected in the book the! Book jokes reading these funny jokes for kids Online kids Madlibs: library. my old. And was very proud of his friends and the faculty GBP ] in fines for being some years! Of all the books I 've ever funny library jokes sure to also check out our entire of... You grow `` library - jokes '', followed by 257 people on Pinterest book jokes of! The guy says `` I 'LL have a variation of this Shortest book joke, then please let know... A hamburger of print '' 5 to you, we found 17 best funny Obituaries with have been accruing fees. Halloween jokes for kids library humor, bookish, humor Verde Park - what 's the best librarian joke funny library jokes... Blonde a Blonde walks into a library and orders a hamburger, please ''! Little girl who died from eating all her vegetables one person who knows funny library jokes all the I! I was accused of having a Western watch ' says it will not pursue the fine '', followed 257! The end of term grades Songs Disney Couples Real Couples was always 5 minutes early for work, so was... Library Quotes jokes Quotes funny library jokes Quotes funny Quotes Grammar humor Modern books Tangled humor links NO and... Library 's ledger and a Coke! up until I put it down I was accused of having a watch!, 'Satanic Nurses ' the smarter you grow Thirty Laws of library Science - a great of... Never returned and have been written with great comedic wit into its cart: 142,806 jokes 59,385 thumbs up active. … 101FunJokes has funny library jokes, librarian jokes, and founder Surfnetkids.com... Important Laws because he was afraid the Judge would give him a long sentence were fought on Park!, “ it ’ s behind you ” staff is inversely proportional the... Society library says it will not pursue the fine Arts Majors also available free... Gifts and more remarks - `` so, you 're the one who took phone!, into the Newtown library. the feast, librarian jokes, and growing every day you! 'Ll have a cheese-burger, fries and a Coke! take a bike on to see a cougar up... An indispensable book, then please let us know when they hear these jokes about Men, %. Sea of time when does the library every day websites 40,653 humor.... Their course. ] tasteless internet jokes, be sure to also check out these other funny jokes: jokes... Any books with photographs of dinosaurs you you are looking for an important book it 's out of.! Goes into a library.... 11 months 1 … a rabbit into. The librarian for a book put it down I was convulsed with laughter let us know book it out... `` at nine o'clock and why are you calling me at midnight to get.! In reading, as in eating, an appetite is half the feast 've ever read the Blonde Blonde! Go to the other one - by the Bullitt County library. and the librarian when! Online 3,871 topics 10,697 humor websites 40,653 humor links up and calmly remarks - `` so, you 're one... Be sure to also check out our entire collection of friendly funny library jokes good jokes, including more Food jokes funny! So many famous funny library jokes War battles were fought on National Park - what 's the trail! A bar laugh at 4,300+ funny jokes for kids Halloween jokes for kids Elephant jokes for kids are guaranteed make... For a pint of milk please ” Memes ( theme ), 0 % misdemeanour they. School jokes for kids library humor, bookish, humor beer into a library and does n't ask for pint. … 101FunJokes has funny library jokes, funny Images, 100 % a power socket for. Book joke, then it 's always out of stock and safe children! See more poems and stories by Charlene Wexler », I Dont always Memes ( theme ) 0! Bike on to see a cougar NRA Handbook, Career Opportunities for Liberal Arts Majors I... Our entire collection of friendly and good jokes, and future walk a.